How Our Experiences Shape Who We Are
Our experiences and memories have a significant influence on our lives and who we are. Memories act as benchmarks in several of our decision-making methods. For centuries, scholars have pondered this question and have concluded that our experiences play a huge part in shaping who we are. In contrast, some scholars believe that each individual has an unchanging core identity that forms the very root of our existence.
Studies have shown that we are our experiences; no core defines our identity from birth. Who we are is shaped by the experiences we have as we grow. Every single one.
Even an experience we feel isn’t great or monumental plays a part in shaping our lives.
- Someone who experiences heartbreak might be very cautious about loving deeply or opening their hearts again.
- An adult from a broken home might have psychological issues such as trust issues, aggressiveness, anxiety, or attention-seeking behavior.
- A scary childhood experience with – dogs, heights, lizards, spiders, etc. – might scare you for life and leave you with phobias even as an adult.
- A child bullied at school might grow with a powerful urge to become strong and might be devoted to bodybuilding or martial arts as an adult. Researchers interviewed gym addicts and found that more than 80% were bullied as children or were in a physical fight before.
In the same vein, positive experiences, accomplishments, and successes can make us more optimistic and full of confidence.
Our identity is entirely and utterly a compilation of all our experiences. The famous saying “a burnt child dreads the fire” comes to mind.
We are just collections of every one of our experiences, and as expected, those collections are different and unique from person to person. Most people believe that we have a “core” that defines us.
They do not question their identity or think it’s shaped by experiences. This belief is that you have a core personality that differs from everybody, and this core is added to as you live life and acquire experiences, beliefs, and memories.
This idea is faulty as it provides an excuse for people for who they become. The philosopher Plato put forward the core identity idea in the 17th century when he stated, “What I essentially am is a simple, immaterial soul.”
However, fellow philosopher Locke challenged this idea of the core self. He rightly believed that everybody must take ownership of their actions. This led to the conclusion that “We are a sum total of every one of our memories and experiences”.
Sure, we must not automatically adopt a particular lifestyle because of certain experiences. This can be seen in two kids who get attacked by dogs growing up, one to love dogs and one with a deep fear of dogs. We can manage these experiences with the right attitude, approach, and support system, to change how it affects us.
However, the imprint and impacts our experiences leave in our cannot be denied. While the wounds of hurtful experiences might heal, their scars remain, and it requires massive willpower to keep these bad experiences from defining us.
In summary, our experiences play a major role in shaping us. Be it our mindsets, belief systems, how we feel about ourselves and the world, out experiences play a big role. While we might not have had control over these experiences as children, we should put in efforts to create good experiences and pleasant memories.
This would likely require a fair amount of planning, effort, and time; however, the rewards make it worthwhile. Prioritize creating happy experiences and be diligent in the pursuit of your dreams.
Mac Donoe is the President and CEO of https://6StarLimo.com “6 Star Limo Services” mission is to offer our customers fast and easy access with unbeatable prices for limousine and bus chauffeured transportation services in Northeastern Illinois and Southeastern Wisconsin!.